'Mum's already hit back because I forgot it was Mother's Day by sending me M&S flowers and chocolates,' said Bill Baines. 'When I asked her what they were for, she said if it were Son's Day, she wouldn't have forgotten me. Then she let me know they were in fact Mother's Day gifts to her from my sister 'now I'm recycling them to you to remind you how thoughtful and generous our Brenda is.
'And me a mum,' Mrs Baines (81) said scornfully.
Mr Baines (48) said he now had ahead of him a year of endless demands he couldn't refuse - for lifts to the shops and the hairdresser and other demonstrations of contrition and repentance. He's been getting heavy breather phone calls.
'Well, I'll bloody well make sure I don't forget her 91st birthday on March 8th,' he said.