Hello I’m Vlad the Impaler and I’m making an urgent appeal, on behalf of Vampires and Zombies, for blood and organ donors to come forward as supplies of victims in your local area are running low.
New donors desperately needed, especially virginal girls, and sporty men as their blood, and brains, can be used to help save a number of different fictional monsters.
Donations like these can prove vital in emergency situations, such as visiting a rundown deserted castle, or going into a cellar to see why the lights have gone out.
The proliferation of books, films and television shows such as ‘The Twilight Saga’, and “The Walking Dead’ has lead to an increase in demand for gullible people to put themselves in dangerous situations.
Declining moral standards amongst the youth of today and internet auction sites have also drastically reduced the number of available virgins, putting extra stress on the services.
Falling standards of education mean brains are getting smaller. The average teenage frontal lobe is now barely enough to provide finger food to a hungry zombie... Of course fingers will do as well, at a push.
There is no real danger at the moment, but at the next full moon, or if there were to be an apocalypse, the system may not be able to cope.
Please come forward, were not asking for you money, just your body.
You don’t have to sign up to anything, or carry a card. All we are asking you to do is to invite that suspicious stranger to cross your threshold, or to go out and investigate that strange sound you hear from your garden shed late at night.
If you don’t, before long, some mythical creatures become extinct.
Vampires appeal for for donors as stocks of virgins run low
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Hello I’m Vlad the Impaler and I’m making an urgent appeal, on behalf of Vampires and Zombies, for blood and organ donors to come forward as supplies of victims in your local area are running low.Posted 9 months ago #
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