Dressed as a giant penis, John Quinn brought London's traffic to a halt as he symbolically lobbed sticky solutions into an over-sized plastic receptacle.
After years of desperately seeking access to his 24 kids, and getting nowhere, sperm donor Quinn said the stunt was was a last desperate resort. 'Just because I once abandoned the little fellers in a plastic cup, it doesn't mean I don't have rights,' he told reporters. 'I wanna see my little boys and girls.'
Many angry drivers, who'd been delayed for hours by Quinn's protest, questioned whether he hadn't given up his right to his kids when he handed over a solution of zygotes in exchange for £12. 'He sold his sperm so he could buy cheap beer in the student union bar,' said one driver, 'I bet kids were the last thing on his mind at the moment his little swimmers were brought into the world.'
One laboratory assistant, who once worked in a fertility centre, agreed. 'At the moment of his children's conception, this sperm donor wasn't even there. He'd already abandoned them for a life of hedonism. He just dumped his little zygotes and buggered off, leaving the lab assistants to pick up the pieces and pull everything together.
But SpermDonors4Justive don't see it at that and, as many of its members are ex-students who have progressed into professional jobs, they could become a powerful movement. Traffic stopping protests, which generally lose the sympathy of the public, could be replaced by more strategic lobbying.
Quinn, however, defended his action and dismissed the criticism that having children was not his motivation when he girded his loins. 'It doesn't matter what I was thinking at the point of issue, whether I was in a loving relationship, or indeed staring at a lingerie catalogue, the point is that I've got copyright over that DNA,' said Quinn, who is now an intellectual property rights lawyer. 'Those kids are mine. And I expect access. Or proper financial compensation.'
