Liberal Democrats are gathering in Brighton for their spring conference amid growing speculation that the party will pull off the biggest mass suicide since Jonestown when,in 1978,over 900 members of a cult led by Jim Jones committed suicide in Georgetown,Guyana.
'Clegg could still pull it off,' said political commentator James Parker. 'He's been working hard for the last two years to demoralize his supporters and they're probably ready to end it all. We could definitely see a Cleggtown event in Brighton this weekend.'
The party has been further dismayed by 'laying on of hands on knees and bottoms' Lord Rennard's fall from grace.
'We've let people down,' Clegg yesterday told the faithful. 'We let the students down, we let women down, and we were let down by Chris. Perhaps it's better we end it all this weekend.'
And with Lib Dem president Tim Farron likening the party to cockroaches, Clegg is expected to tell the conference,
'Go back to your constituencies and prepare to blow your brains out.'