Romanda Hips, a 63 yr old prostitute from Manchester has announced her retirement from 'street life' citing the insatiable appetites of Wayne Rooney.
"I just cannot cope anymore" she says, whilst draped in a baggy leopard skin leotard. "At first it was fine, he'd visit maybe 2 or 3 times a week. But whenever he gets depressed, he can be calling on me 2 or 3 times a day. After he was benched against Real Madrid it's become ridiculous - I just feel exhausted, I can't cope".
Miss Hips' decision to hang up her heels for good has added fuel to the fire regarding the future of Wayne's Manchester United career. In an attempt to mitigate the damage, Sir Alex Ferguson has sent his number 2 - assistant manager Mike Phelan - to try and convince Romanda to extend her career for just 1 more year.
"I will speak to Romanda and try to negotiate a new settlement. I plan to offer her a new package that may stimulate her into action." says the Utd number 2.
It seems now that Wayne Rooneys future may entirely depend on the attractiveness of Mike Phelans package.