January Writer of the Month - BAJDixon
Congratulations to BAJDixon whose story 'Cameron pours his curves into suit for Europe speech' was January's most popular and scoops him the Writer of the Month award. For any aspiring politicians, it presents practical tips on dressing to impress when appealing to a sceptical electorate and trying to fend off the rise of UKIP... BAJDixon wins a NewsBiscuit mug and vouchers for David Cameron's tailor.
Honourable mentions to Des Custard ('Motorcycle News goes out of print as porn mag sales dwindle'), nickb ('Duncan Smith to force claimants to wear benefits caps'), Tripod ('Pippa Middleton's bum 'going solo'') and Doctor Turmoil ('Lifelong friendship destroyed by pain-in-the-arse Facebook updates') who complete January's top five.
February Writer of the Month - Vertically Challenged Giant
February's most-read story on NewsBiscuit was Vertically Challenged Giant's 'Dairy farmer discovers 60% of his cows are horses'. That success earns VCG his fourth Writer of the Month award for which he receives another NewsBiscuit mug and what we are promised is a pantomime cow outfit.
February's other top stories all tested positive for traces of Pope and horse. Congratulations again to Des Custard who bagged his second consecutive second-place finish for 'Horse food found in Waitrose luxury muesli', and to apepper ('Pope resigned due to 'disturbance in force''), Ablative Fabsolute ('God 'probably going to call it a day' as well') and jamsieoconnor ('Special feature - The Pope: How his retirement affects you'). Findus lasagnes all round.
Many thanks to all for continuing to contribute excellent stories while the Editor went AWOL in a fit of naked political ambition. He is now off to Venezuela to fulfil a lifetime ambition to lose a hat-trick of elections on more than one continent.