Some things are always guaranteed on a British summertime; rain, a rash of BBQ food in Tesco and most hated of all, queues on any road capable of bearing the width of a car. In an enterprising move the government will be introducing The Metered Season. This is a scheme whereby anyone travelling by car during the summer season will be a toll on any road based on the distance they travel
“Its a win-win all round” said a Government spokesman “the ecological benefits are clear, but this will also encourage British citizens to think of alternatives to the British Seaside Getaway. We predict a 90% upturn in demand for flights to southern Europe, boosting revenue for the air industry and getting the great unwashed off the streets.
We don’t think that we will get any revenue from the tolls but where better to have the shirtless, pink, lower demographic British male and his herd, Spain, the Canaries, Greece anywhere but here.”