One down in the series, England needed to win the final test match at Lords to retain the Ashes. But now a sex scandal has hit the otherwise straight-laced world of test cricket, and the match has been abandoned.
MCC Chairman’s wife Samantha Legover-Wickett was unavailable for comment yesterday after allegations that she pleasured herself with a match stump in the Members’ Room before the vital final test. However in a statement she maintained that the incident was easily explained. “I was carrying the stump when I tripped on a piece of loose carpeting in a side room and it happened to slip between my legs.”
This explanation would have been accepted and the incident forgotten, had it not been for the fact that Mrs. Legover-Wickett was carrying a stump with a built-in camera for television coverage purposes. The unfortunate “accident” was captured by a Sky Sports production team as they were testing video links before the match was due to begin. A junior member of the production team was treated for shock at the scene. It is believed that DVDs carrying the footage are already available, and it has also been circulated via the Internet.