Police cars from the Wiltshire Constabulary raced to Lydiard Park in Swindon this afternoon when an old man in a long green overcoat was spotted talking to young children.
“I seen him first” said mother of 7, Dawn English, “I was having a quick fag and holding onto Killer our bull mastiff when I saw him on the far side of the play area. He was laughing and making funny faces. It was young girls mainly, but also boys, which I think is even more disgusting. At one stage he reached into his pocket, brought out a hanky and blew his nose. I nearly vommed.”
The man was tasered, handcuffed and led away through jeering crowds to Swindon Police Station. He was released 5 hours later without charge. Speaking afterwards he claimed that “It was a lovely day so I thought I would watch the youngsters playing in the park. I was feeling lonely - my grandchildren have emigrated and I hardly see them anymore. I wasn’t doing any harm, but I‘ve learned my lesson and it's back to trolling on web forums for me from now on.”