A Syrian man was celebrating last night after being declared the one millionth refugee to flee the conflict devastating his country.
Not only was the man awarded the prize for reaching the prestigious 1m milestone by the UN High Commisioner for Refugees but was also awarded a brand new Nissan Micra 1.2 complete with a four year warranty and free 10,000 mile service.
Father of five Ashwad El Hambri was handed the keys to the hatchback just moments after collapsing in a heap suffering from hypothermia and dehydration as he crossed the border into Turkey.
The UN High Commissioner said the prize winner had actually been quite lucky to receive the luxury family saloon as technically it was his brother who had been the 1m refugee to cross the Syrian border but as he had died in El Hambri’s arms just moments before and his entire family had been killed in a mortar attack during the week it as only right the car went to his closest living relative.
The refugee said he had no idea there was a car up for grabs for the 1m person to cross the border and it was only a stroke of luck that they were in the right place at the right time as earlier in the day they had had to stop off to bury his mother in the desert.
But the UN spokesman said all Syrian nationals had been entered into the draw for the car and had been surprised it had not been won earlier.
The UN Commissioner said the Nissan was one of the most economical budget cars on the market and if they drove carefully a whole family of refugees could flee as far as the Greek or Bulgarian borders on just one tank of petrol
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Syrian family man wins 1m refugee prize
(23 posts) (16 voices)
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Gerontius
offlineMemberPosted 3 months ago # -
herculepoisson
offlineMemberI really like this.
I think it could be strengthened by making more of a satirical point about the West's feeble response to Syria. Ashwad could perhaps say something like, 'At times when we were coming under remorseless attack by President al-Assad's forces, it felt as if the rest of the world had forgotten about our suffering. But I now feel a fool for doubting the international community's response to humanitarian disasters. This brand new Nissan Micra is just the ticket.'
You could also praise the versatility of the Nissan Micra, its excellent handling in war-torn urban environments, suspension able to cope with pot-holes caused by mortar rounds, and it's unparalleled ability to go from 0-60 in 5.3 seconds when fleeing from advancing forces.
Posted 3 months ago # -
Sinnick
offlineMemberReally, really good dark humour. Excellent even.
Some thoughts, if you need them:
- 0-60 in 5.3 seconds might be just enough to escape an RPG.
- still a long way from Zimbabwe's record-breaking refugee count of 3+ million
- "whole family of refugees" - what's left of them [for extra dark humour]
- Aid agencies turning up in top-of-the-range 4x4's (not all agencies of course, but I've seen "charitable" agency vehicles in Kenya that cost more than the supplies to feed a village for several years)Posted 3 months ago # -
Needs a stronger headline but very good.
I'm no good at headlines so not offering any alternatives.
Posted 3 months ago # -
Titus
onlineMemberYup - 5 fully-deserved stars from me too. Fully-warranted, angry, vicious, biting satire.
Bastards like Assad are difficult to satirise when, after months of using jet fighters and artillery to slaughter his own civilian population, he describes the West's talk of supplying humanitary aid as "militarising the conflict". This makes me too angry to be able to be funny about it, but I'm glad someone on here has managed to write something biting enough.
Posted 3 months ago # -
Gerontius
offlineMemberThanks folks - lots of great suggestions there to fill it out.
The car can hold a fully grown family of five....or seven if some are amputees (blame Sinnick not me)Hello ASBO
Good to see you.
Did you serve your time or did you bribe a guard?
Is that your electronic tag on eBay?
Either way, it's great to have you back.
Look forward to your in depth and balanced observations.Posted 3 months ago # -
rickwestwell
offlineMemberBrilliant, Gerry! I like hercule's idea of ramming in a bit of satire about the west's response, and agree the headline didn't grab me - I almost overlooked the sub.
I think the Nissan is too good to leave out of the headline, you want people to know how funny it all is - how about "Lucky one millionth refugee speaks of delight at winning prize Nissan" ?
Or something. Great piece from Gerontius, as ever.
Posted 3 months ago # -
Des Custard
offlineMemberNicely done Geri.
Posted 3 months ago #
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