A decoding of the Recorded message which is played at you intermittently, when you are being telephonically lobbed about in the manner of a superfluous tennis ball that has strayed from the adjoining court in the middle of a setpoint service.
Now, when transferring between the 2 completely different advisers that are - apparently - needed to populate your banks entirely separate 'Payment Prevention' and 'Fraud Authorisation' departments, wouldn't it be nice if, they actually said what we know they really mean, for once?:
"We are experiencing a
n unusual ly high volume of calls at present. Your call money is important to us although we couldn't give a flying f**k about customer service, but all of our advisors are busy have been made redundant at present, so please continue to hold because we are getting hefty kickbacks from your phone provider for the charges you are incurring, sucker! while we try to connect you your patience, or call back later when lines are less busy. just go away. We really don't care whether you live or die frankly. Oh, and don't forget to f**k yourself while you are about it."