Sir Derek Smyth, the NHS Chief Executive responsible for hundreds if not thousands of preventable hospital deaths told a select committee he is the “right man” to complete the planned destruction of the NHS. Earlier, Sir Derek had admitted helplessly wandering the corridors of power armed with “killer statistics”, threatening to “do it again”. Despite confessing to the authorities that his strategies had already caused multiple deaths, he felt “he should be given another chance” to savagely destroy the health service. “Unless somebody doesn’t do something, there will be more victims,” he told the authorities. “That is why I must be the man to carry on.”
Surprisingly, leadership of both parties have, for the time being, lent Sir Derek their support. Health secretary Jeremy Hunt told reporters: “Every once in a while you get one of these really dedicated people who are determined to destroy themselves so spectacularly that you can only stand back in admiration and encourage voters to watch. Sir Derek is doing a grand job of deflecting attention from current changes in the NHS which will result in even more tragically preventable deaths we can blame him for. We will support him until he succumbs to the inevitable and hands himself in.”
Meanwhile Labour Shadow Spokesperson Celia Smithers gave her support to Sir Derek “ It’s unfair to talk about being the slave of targets in this way. Mind you, while Sir Derek is a target himself, it does make people forget that he was appointed under Labour to carry out our policies of making the NHS look better. Which is why, for now, we support his brave stand in resisting arrest for causing death by driving standards in the NHS down. We will, when the time is right, also demand his removal from office.”
Sir Derek denied he had blood on his hands “but I do have quite a lot on most of my shirts” he admitted. “Now I want a clean break and a fresh start.”