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Quick links: NewsBiscuit Home • Chat Room • Writers' Room • Top Ten

1. 

   godly1966
   

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   Thanks Yikes for your revolutionary voting system of second past the post which gave me victory in last week’s Neato.

   So in my job as Head Gardner (no smutty jokes please) I regularly have to show visitors round in the summer and try to keep them entertained, I point out all the draught tolerant plants when it is raining I describe our pergola with 140 climbing roses on it as my arch enemy you get the idea. So this week’s Neato is all things Horticultural in the hope I will be able to plagiarize everyone’s jokes.

   So this week’s Neato is HORTICULTURE and all things plant like. I will announce the results Sunday evening when I get back from a poultry show where I will be exhibiting my prize winning cock. Good luck everyone

   Posted 2 months ago #
2. 

   Squudge
   

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   congratulations - I used to think second was the 'sweet spot', with the adulation of the crownds mingled with the get-off-scot-free with having to think of something original + judge the festering mound of entrants at the end of the week.

   That went a bit wrong for you. The prize-winning Dick escaped his enclosure, and we all saw it.

   Posted 2 months ago #
3. 

   Gerontius
   

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   What do you call an arrogant, supercilious window-box?

   Posted 2 months ago #
4. 

   Yikes
   

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   http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57304

   Have had this jotted down for awhile along with ideas for a fuller sub. Might expand tommorow after I check whether it has been done before ..

   Posted 2 months ago #
5. 

   JETFAB
   

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   http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57309&replies=1#post-166112

   Posted 2 months ago #
6. 

   Ironduke
   

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   tenuous...

   Posted 2 months ago #
7. 

   Squudge
   

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   <slightly baffled>
   go on then Gerontius. What DO you call an arrogant, supercilious window box?

   Posted 2 months ago #
8. 

   Not Amused
   

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   Haughty culture, I think.

   Posted 2 months ago #
9. 

   sigmund
   

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   http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57364&replies=1#post-166239

   Posted 2 months ago #
10. 

    beau-jolly
    

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    Was it Dorothy Parker who said, "You can take a whore to culture but you can't make her think" ?
    Just thought I'd share that with everyone.

    <EDIT. Just seen the conversation in the other place. ID/Oxy got there well before me.>

    Posted 2 months ago #
11. 

    Nunnion Splendacular
    

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    Brian Sewell's breakfast

    Posted 2 months ago #
12. 

    Dick Everyman
    

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    A well-hung Neat-O attempt...

    Posted 2 months ago #
13. 

    sigmund
    

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    Take 2: http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57371&replies=1#post-166269

    Posted 2 months ago #
14. 

    godly1966
    

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    I must say I am very impressed with the entries this week but there’s still over two days for you to post a blooming marvelous sub, so let the green shoots of your comedy genius flourish and get writing.

    Posted 2 months ago #
15. 

    Midfield Diamond
    

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    Being the only kid in class whose broad bean didn't grow clearly affected me badly

    Posted 2 months ago #
16. 

    button
    

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    I'm entering this http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2013/03/08/magic-money-tree-found-at-bank-of-england/
    I didn't write it but I think it qualifies.

    Posted 2 months ago #
17. 

    Squudge
    

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    green shoots ...and scores the worse punchline ever dared in a NB sub

    Posted 2 months ago #
18. 

    Not Amused
    

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    Very late entry ....

    Posted 2 months ago #
19. 

    Squudge
    

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    Mother's Day Eve - breaking news

    Posted 2 months ago #
20. 

    Yikes
    

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    Looks like some top contenders for Godly to wade through!!

    Posted 2 months ago #
21. 

    godly1966
    

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    Yes every time I think I have picked a winner a new one pops up.
    What's the weather like over there it’s freezing here? I love New Zealand I visited my sister a few years ago in Auckland and it was the only holiday I have ever been on where I didn’t want to come back.

    Posted 2 months ago #
22. 

    Yikes
    

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    Bit of a drought in most of the country which is not too good for the farmers and gardeners but good for the beach and other outdoor endeavours in the bush and mountains.

    Auckland is nice but a bit crowded by NZ standards. In saying that there are some beautiful beaches nearby that you can visit and be the only ones there.

    Posted 2 months ago #
23. 

    Perks
    

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    http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57608&replies=1#post-167083

    Posted 2 months ago #

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