In a pre-budget speech the Chancellor announced plans for a spare organ tax on those in social housing. Under the plans, any individual who has more than one of any organ will be required to pay around £12 per month if they wish to keep it. A spokesperson for Number 10 said, "It's outrageous in these times of austerity that people have spare organs they do not need." Although initially the new scheme applies only to kidneys, it is expected to extend to lungs and corneas as it is rolled out nationally. Government insiders have said that the idea came to the Chancellor while he was watching the documentary 'Repo Men' starring Jude Law. It is rumoured that Mr Law has been approached to carry out a role in the pilot project, as Acting Controller. This will be the first time he has tried anything resembling 'acting' to date. The new legislation is being lauded as a 'magic bullet' that can cure many problems the government is currently faced with. It is believed that several hundred jobs will be created in the new Department of Organ Handling, (D'OH), as well as easing pressure on the NHS organ waiting lists. However, the Chief Medical Officer for England and Wales, Penny Harchester, has voiced misgivings. In a press conference she stated,"When we start talking about unused organs, there is a concern that we will be swamped by hearts and brains of bankers."
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Chancellor announces spare organ tax
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rickwestwell
offlineMemberGreat idea. I'd lose the Jude Law bit, which doesn't fit, and drop "D'OH", which isn't awesome, and it needs splitting into paragraphs. Then you've got a great story.
Oh, and if you're ending with the funny but slightly obvious "bankers don't need hearts" line, you might as well chuck in Clegg's testicles.
Good stuff.
Posted 2 months ago #
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