Job Centre chiefs are serious it seems about getting an area's workless into better jobs.
Bosses in Dewsbury have drawn up plans to get three people into work over the next 1,000 years [check this].
But antisocial behaviour in the area has put some off.
"The Mary Portas scheme for shops will not work here," locals told me at the paper.
Managers believe the area has "hidden" jobs - that cannot be seen.
But where does the antisocial behaviour come in? I asked myself.
According to reports I did earlier in 2011, a basketball scheme for youngsters has seen annoying behaviour drop off significantly.
But it turns out it hasn't worked, unlike I truthfully speculated.
And if the shop scheme stalls, then even if the "hidden" jobs are "hidden", the town is doomed.
The doomed town currently has unemployment levels of between 15 and 78 percent [check this].
Despite this, locals aren't being coy, and many are saving for Christmas already.
Sarah Delta told me: "I am already saving for Christmas already."
And this paper supports such coyness and honesty.