The London School of Economics has criticised the chancellor’s decision to continue to place his faith of economic recovery in the hands of the mighty Norse God Snotra. The LSE joins a growing number of international bodies, and opposition parties, who have been calling for change in government policy.
"The daily sacrificing of goats to the all powerful God Snotra was a necessary step in building market confidence but we can now clearly see that we should be bowing down before the great Egyptian deity Khnum instead, praise be to him and cower beneath his terrible image for eternity, which we are confident will meet growth stimulus targets and see us back on the road to recovery".
However the LSE have resisted calls, made by some in the shadow treasury, to summon the great strength of Ra using the withered monkeys paw of okalu. They have stated that the "vigorous rubbing of the withered paw would likely be a mere sticking plaster to the nation’s financial health", and more worryingly could "upset the Chilean Thunder God Pillan, who's revenge is indeed terrible and unforgiving".
Vince Cable was unavailable for comment.