The office of coalition team-player Nick Clegg has issued a statement "flat out refuting" claims that he was informed his party had successfully entered into a coalition government with the Conservatives.
Describing the accusation as "No, really? That can't have happened. I'd have remembered!" apologist Mr Clegg claimed had he known that he was part of government then he might have been able to do something about this "slow-motion train wreck of a barely mandated dictatorship."
"I thought we were helpless bystanders in a sort of bad dream. I had no idea that we actually had a shred of authority," he told reporters, adding "I thought 'coalition' was Latin for 'Shit happens. It's happening. Now. Right now it's happening. Look.'"
Whitehall sources last night claimed to feel "pretty certain" that Mr Clegg was indeed informed at the time that his party were junior coalition partners, citing a text message from the Prime Minister to the Lib Dem front-man which read "See you in Cabinet tomorrow. LOL".
Mr Clegg was last seen entering Number 10 in a trance-like state, smelling of confusion. Asked about his engagements for the rest of the day he mumbled "I'm not entirely sure. Something about submarines, I think."
"Are you absolutely sure I'm in power?"