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1. 

   riesler
   

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   Posted 2 months ago #
2. 

   Gerontius
   

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   I almost didn't leave the house today what with it being so cold and all.
   But discovered my alcohol supplies were dangerously low, so was forced to brave the arctic conditions.
   Didn't see any LUBE though.
   Is that the one they use for an alcohol enema?
   FACT : Did you know that you can get just as drunk by inserting the alcohol directly into your anus...but without suffering from that nagging hang-over?
   Or having any tell-tale alcohol smell on your breath.
   Just a handy tip for any Biscuiteers thinking about having a drink at your local restaurant over the weekend but are worried about getting pulled over on the way home.

   Posted 2 months ago #
3. 

   Titus
   

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   "NB subsciber Gerontius thown out of restaurant into the snow, minus his pants and trousers. 'This is a restaurant' fumed the proprietor 'Not a set for The full Monty"

   Posted 2 months ago #
4. 

   Squudge
   

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   did he pay for corkage?

   Posted 2 months ago #
5. 

   Scroat
   

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   The thing about alcohol apparently is that you start absorbing it through your mucous membranes - as soon as it's in your mouth, down yer throat etc. as well as your stomach.

   So the old 'Up yer bum' thing would work.

   But can you imagine someone walking in and catching you doing it? Oh FFS!!

   A prize for the best excuse!!

   "Sorry dear I was just shoving some wine up my arse. It was undrinkable."

   Posted 2 months ago #
6. 

   Gerontius
   

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   Hold on Scroat.
   You talk as though it's a bit weird or something.
   I've enjoyed many a glass with friends over dinner.
   Oh...and you're right. It does work.
   LUBE sounds perfect....is it a Merlot?

   Where's Beau?
   He'll back me up.

   Posted 2 months ago #
7. 

   beau-jolly
   

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   Not going ANYWHERE near this one. And certainly not "backing you up" as you so coyly put it.

   Having said that... Why wine? As you won't be tasting it, it makes sense to use the strongest, most concentrated alcohol you can find to get the job done quickly and efficiently. A turkey baster full of Stolly should do the trick. When alcohol is your enema, gravity is your enemy.

   Damn, I promised myself I wouldn't reply.

   Posted 2 months ago #
8. 

   Squudge
   

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   Eyewash

   Posted 2 months ago #
9. 

   dvo4fun
   

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   That's gonna smart surely?

   Posted 2 months ago #
10. 

    Sinnick
    

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    G: with friends like you, who needs enemas.

    With apologies, naturally.

    Posted 2 months ago #
11. 

    riesler
    

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    Gerontius, it is likely to be a Tempranillo, the same grape they use in a lot of Rioja.

    Posted 2 months ago #
12. 

    Scroat
    

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    Just had second thoughts. You will still get the hangover because you'll have put alcohol in your system.

    Probably not a good idea to do this in a restaurant though.

    And it could give you a sore bum.

    Posted 2 months ago #

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