The unemployed and banned cyclist Lance Armstrong has revealed that he has decided to turn-down an interview with ASDA as he is hoping for a job in another country.
'ASDA wrote to me asking if I would co-operate with working with them in, I think, their pharmacy department, but the pay was rubbish (nothing) despite them wanting to play it on the telly, do they take me as some type of mug?'
'Nike paid me millions as did my other sponsors, and all I had to do was take a few pills and inject a few syringes - just like all my potential colleagues - but these guys want me there 8am to 6pm and only give me an hour for lunch. And they expect me to cycle to work, which of course according to ASDA I cannot do because they banned me - for life.'
'I've ruled-out working for Tesco, as every little is a shit drug and doesn't help. I'd quite like to work with Amgen and Gillette, after all 'EPO is the best a man can get.'