Three sports reporters were 'stable' in an Intensive Care unit last night after bizarre scenes, when Arsenal's under-pressure manager turned a vivid green, burst out of his clothes and launched a violent attack on them at a post-match press conference.
The incident was even more astonishing as Wenger, nicknamed 'The Professor' for his academic approach to the game, is known for his calm rational responses to questions.
This time however, his dry gallic wit had deserted him.
Incredible Sulk...
The press conference began in a low key mood after the Gunner's humiliating home defeat to Bayern Munich in last night's last 16 Champions League tie. A subdued Wenger deflected questions about the match by simply saying, "I didn't see it".
Following speculation about his contract after a dismal run of form, several journalists from the tabloid press pack then fired in questions about the besieged manager's future with the club.
Visibly rattled, Wenger retorted, "Do not push me. You will not like me when I am angry."
Rippling muscle, ripping yarn...
Undeterred, the pack seemed to move in for the kill, one reporter asking him if he should step down now.
Eyes rolling into the back of his head and with a distinctly green pallor, Wenger stood up, sending the microphone table crashing to the floor and snarled, "One more word and, as the great French empirical philosopher Joey Barton said, you'll be shitting your teeth out for a week, you c**t!"
With this, his normally immaculate suit collar and tie pinged and tore off his burgeoning body, leaving the Arsenal boss in just a pair of now extremely snug-fitting trousers.
Looking like an exotically hued Arnold Schwartzenegger, Mr Wenger then leapt over the table, simultaneously lifted three reporters off the floor and with the scream of a Banshee, flung them against the wall as if they were rag dolls.
He then smashed through the empty Gunners trophy cabinet and with one giant leap bound out of the fourth floor Emirates stadium window.
This morning, club chairman Peter Hill-Wood issued a statement that Wenger has the full support of the board, adding that his manager was suffering from 'a bit of a headache - and a large wardrobe malfunction'.
