In an unexpected move, rock band Coldplay have confirmed that their next album, due for release in the spring, will consist entirely of Death Metal covers.
The announcement took many by surprise, but according to Mojo editor Phil Alexander, this has been on the cards for some time,
‘People think that Chris Martin is simply a pretentious, preening, whiny little tosser who isn’t fit to lace Jeff Buckley’s boots. And they’re right. But what they also don’t realise is that Chris has long been an ardent devotee of the UK grindcore scene. He went to every date of Gorerotted’s ‘Only Tools and Corpses’ Tour and I happen to know that he has the largest collection of Napalm Death bootlegs in the home counties.’
Martin himself confirmed the new material in a radio interview yesterday,
‘It’s true. There’s nothing I like more after a long day of mawkish balladry and pontificating on world hunger than winding down to a bit of hardcore Thrash. Once the kids are in bed, the wife and I like to curl up on the sofa, crack open a bag of macrobiotic cress and have a couple of games of Boggle while Carcass’s ‘Crepitating Bowel Erosion’ plays in the background.’
And Martin was keen to point out that everyone associated with the band was behind the new approach. ‘The lads are really up for it. We’ve already detuned the piano to a low ‘C’ and Gwyneth’s been an absolute angel in helping me perfect my death grunt.’
However, while many have praised the band's bold new direction, some critics remain sceptical, suggesting that it’s no more than a cynical attempt to capitalise on actor John Barrowman’s surprise Christmas 2012 smash ‘Twenty Golden Norwegian Black Metal Hits.’