“The new scheme is both refreshingly simple and brutally honest”, announced Sebastian Wright, a spokesman for the Food Standards Agency. “The 'traffic light' idea - red, amber and green - reflecting levels of salt, sugar and fats in our processed foods, was a source of bafflement to shoppers. So we’ve gone instead for what we think, given the current state of the food industry, are more appropriate colours.
“Ready meals in brown packaging are ‘shit’, while yellow labels, for canned and bottled beers, suggests that what you’re drinking is ‘piss’. There's no need for any other colours. If customers get the impression they’ve been shat and pissed on from a great height, by every broken link in the food chain, then the work of the FSA has not been in vain”...