Descendants of the families of an American B-24 Liberator crew were “confused and delighted” to hear that their ancestors had yesterday returned safely from a mission thought to have concluded in 1943.
The crew of the Negative Nancy are all now in their early 90s. Waist-gunner Jerry Quinlan, who has yet to discover that all his friends are dead, spoke to reporters for the first time this afternoon. "Tell ya, it was great to finally hit terra firma, I’d been needin’ to stretch my legs somethin' fierce". When explaining what took them so long, Quinlan made references to a shot-out compass, claimed that they didn't sight the English coast again until “the late fifties”, and said that “most of the rest” of the remaining 6 decades were spent looking for their home-base.
"Certain jumpy crew members said we shoulda just landed in a meadow or maybe a different airstrip, but they were outvoted at the quarterly meetings. We just wanted to do this thing right, make our countrymen proud." These brave men were not to know that their airfield had in fact been dismantled and reverted to farmland in 1949. The challenges faced on their journey included interpersonal tensions, low rations, and fatigue from being at a constant state of readiness for 70 years.
"Yeah, we kinda just assumed the war was still on. And we started to see some pretty scary, fancy lookin' planes out there after a while. We'd used up all the ammo so we had to just hide behind clouds".
Various organisations have expressed an interest in acquiring the Negative Nancy for research purposes. Those eager to learn how a clapped-out old husk can fly in the face of logic and keep going include Matt Groening, U2, and the Red Dwarf team.