Champion of Britain's struggling arms business David Cameron has announced incentives for India to 'go the extra mile' and start a war with Pakistan.
'They're laughing at you' said Cameron to the Indian Prime Minister or King or whatever 'and we've got a cracking 2-for-1 offer on aircraft carriers at the min.'
India has been left a big pile of glossy brochures which extol the virtues of being armed to the fucking teeth. 'Britain and India share a special relationship' said the Indian Defence Minister 'they give us aid, and we use the money to buy gun ships.'
The deal is particularly appealing to India, as they own most of the companies in the UK that will build the new range of aggressive deterrents. 'Obviously we want to avoid a war at all costs' said someone or other in India. 'But it's tempting, if we can get Nectar points and route the tax through our embassy in Luxembourg.'
Fuck me this is good stuff.