In a sensational outburst Mrs Doris Palmer from Hook, Hampshire has condemned declining standards at the BBC News department. “We used to get lots of interesting stories in the old days,” she complained, “there were spy dramas like Profumo and Blunt, cracking war action from the Falklands and Kuwait, decent murders like President Kennedy’s and good serials like the Yorkshire Ripper, but these days it’s all economics, politics and global warming. What do I care about global bloody warming – I am 85.”
A BBC News spokesman claimed that Mrs Palmer was undoubtedly “a nutter”, but defended his department’s output. “We just had a near asteroid miss that could have wiped out the planet, there’s horses in the school dinners and we’ve imported a very decent murder with lots of human interest from South African television. That one definitely has legs. I think we’ve a lot to be proud of,” he stated “and with Iran developing nuclear weapons and the increasing militancy of central African Islamists, we can looking forward to some bloody spectacular fireworks there in the near future.”
