• Writer John O’Farrell was part of lefty group that invited public to injure themselves in various ways.
• Also included ‘totally unfunded’ encouragement to buy aircraft.
• Catchy manifesto triggered months of “ear-worms”
The Labour candidate in the crucial Eastleigh by-election was part of a writing commune that regularly attacked the democratically elected Conservative government, and knowingly incited members of the public to perform acts that could only end in severe injury, including extracting your own wisdom teeth, disembowelling yourself with spears and, perhaps most damningly, sticking a deckchair up your nose.
The radical rant also called for citizens to commit identity fraud by pretending their name was Keith, and for everyone to buy jumbo-jets - a move that could only be funded by 'eye-watering' tax-hikes on hard-working families. And in yet another nod to political correctness, the Arapahoe language was to be added to the national curriculum.
Although not directly credited with the writing of the group's 1986 policy statement, left-winger John O’Farrell has refused to apologise for the record.
In fact, when asked about his time spent with the shadowy collective, he perversely admitted 'a surge of pride' with regard to his contribution to the 'puppet government' think-tank that advocated loony schemes such as 'climbing inside dogs' and painting your left knee green, commenting, 'I had a great time working with [this left-leaning cooperative of subversive hacks who sought to destabilise society].'
The radical recommendations put forward by the cabal of writers, of which Mr O’Farrell was an unashamed leading member, appear in their manifesto, entitled The Chicken Song which was freely available to teenagers.
Sources close to David Cameron have said that the PM is "disgusted" by the revelations, and that although the tract was published over 25 years ago, it "yet again reveals the true nature of Labour's plans for Britain."