A Government spokesmen announced today that David Cameron will not merely be visiting the police force in Cumbria for a photo opportunity after the shooting, but actually join the effort to prevent similar incidents happening again.
"He'll be bringing 'New Policing' to the area, casting out the old methods of police work which relied for too long on the techniques perfected in Punch and Judy. The brutality showed by Mr Plod in that environment will not be allowed to be replicated on our streets now Dave is in charge. Nick Clegg will be the Lewis in the relationship."