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Romanian orphanages no longer overcrowded, reports Comigel
(26 posts) (13 voices)
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rickwestwell
offlineMemberThis could be a really good (albeit sick) story, provided it never connects the idea to the whole h*rsemeat crisis thing.
Maybe it could be presented something like:
In a week when Romania has been blamed for the flood of false beef into Europe, it's encouraging to see some good news coming from the country. It is not yet clear how Romania could have solved its orphan crisis so quickly, but seasoned childcare professionals from the UK are being sent over to find out.
The country, not generally considered prosperous, seems to be booming of late, with the majority of older citizens showing signs of being unusually well-fed.
Prime Minister Victor Ponta spoke of his pride of the massive reduction in child poverty, saying "Critics told us our policy on orphans was a shambles. And we herd them."
Posted 3 months ago # -
rickwestwell
offlineMemberGreat idea, the Swift reference. I'd better write this up a bit more then, if I can get some time - anyone else got anything to add? Please?
Posted 3 months ago # -
rickwestwell
offlineMemberExcellent - this has got "family friendly FP" written all over it!
Posted 3 months ago # -
rickwestwell
offlineMemberOK, I've had a go, but the bloody site was down so I couldn't refer to any of the stuff above and had to wing it, as it's way past bed time. I'll start a new post so people know there's a new story, but credit goes to cinquecento and hat-tips all round.
Actually I won't start a new post, as that would be bollocks.
Posted 3 months ago # -
rickwestwell
offlineMemberAfter a week when Romania has been blamed for the flood of false beef coming into the rest of Europe, some unexpected good news was today announced by the Romanian government. Speaking to journalists during an impromptu inspection tour of speciality butchers, Prime Minister Victor Ponta revealed today that the number of abandoned children in state orphanages has dropped overnight from some five million to 'none at all'.
In an ironic twist, it seems that the very company responsible for the contaminated beef exports has by pure coincidence been closely involved in the unexpected success of the country's new child welfare strategy. "It was really a problem we could get our teeth into", explained Comigel spokesman Armin Meiwes at a lavish buffet breakfast conference this morning. "At first it was hard to get our heads round it - we nearly bit off more than we could chew. But we soon hit on a great plan for reabsorbing these tender young citizens back into society, and started project 'Modest Proposal', which for commercial reasons has unfortunately to remain shrouded in secrecy."
Sociologists from the rest of Europe are mystified how Romania could have solved its orphan crisis so quickly, and a team of seasoned experts from the UK have yet to report back.
The country of Romania, not generally considered prosperous, seems to be booming of late, with the majority of older citizens showing signs of being unusually well-fed. This upturn seems to be spread unevenly across economic segments, with strong gains being seen in industries as diverse as slaughterhouses, rentals of candy trucks which quickly convert into cages, and manufacturers of large nets.
Prime Minister Ponta spoke of his pride of the massive reduction in child poverty, saying "Critics told us our policy on orphans was a shambles. And we herd them."
Posted 3 months ago # -
charlies_hat
offlineMemberTurned out as a good un. stars.
Posted 3 months ago # -
rickwestwell
offlineMemberThanks everyone. Wonder if the editorial team will go with this - come on guys, it's only about eating children, for God's sake!
Posted 3 months ago # -
So it's ok to take the piss out of orphans now is it?
Posted 3 months ago # -
rickwestwell
offlineMemberThat's an essential part of the cooking process, I'm led to believe.
Posted 3 months ago # -
So it's ok to take the piss out of cooking now is it?
Posted 3 months ago # -
rickwestwell
offlineMemberYou've got me bang to rights there. All I can say in my defence is that some of my best friends are cooks. Of orphans.
Posted 3 months ago #
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