Western powers were on full alert last night amid fears that North Korea have conducted a nuclear test inside Sir Trevor McDonald's trousers.
The ex-newsreader, now a respected documentary maker, is known to have been a communist sympathiser in his days at university and once travelled to Gdansk during the Polish uprising of the 1980s where he was heard loudly heckling iconic trades unionist, and anti soviet agitator, Lech Walensa at a street gathering of protesters.
The test, which registered 5.7 on the Richter scale, is believed to have been carried out while McDonald 97 was sitting in the departure lounge at Chicago airport, waiting for a flight back to London following his recent, highly acclaimed, McDonald Inside Death Row, documentary series.
A fellow traveller observed McDonald looking "agitated and preoccupied" and claimed that when he approached him for an autograph he got up without a word and went to the toilet. A few minutes later following his return, the same traveller heard a "dull crump", and noticed that McDonald's trousers had ballooned out at the front alarmingly.
Peter Henson 35, a businessman from Brighton, Sussex, said "I realised at once that a nuclear test had taken place inside his trousers. He looked flustered and shifty and the lenses of his glasses were shattered from the concussive shock waves resulting from the blast"
Last night in a clear warning to the Pyonyang government , South Korea have made what is seen as a retaliatory move by massing thousands of troops and heavy armour on Olly Murs' great big face.