The recent attack by an urban fox on a baby has given an enterprising new mother an idea to start a new business. Bored stupid being at home all day with her new baby, Linsi Kingston was initially outraged when she heard about the injuries caused by the fox, and wanted to do something about it.
“These animals have got too big for their own boots” she said, “it’s time they were more afraid of us”. Living in an urban area in London she realised it would be impractical to shoot them all, so she started to use traps. Then she had the problem of what to do with the bodies.
This dilemma was quickly solved when she decided to start her own business offering exotic meal dishes to her neighbours. The recent events surrounding horsemeat actually helped in this regard. “People have got used to the idea of hearing about more exotic food so it was a small step to me offering my ‘foxy curry’ and ‘vixen hot pot’. Already I have developed new recipes using the local wildlife, including ‘brock pie’ and ‘nut cutter hash’. I think maybe ‘rat tail soup’ is a little further into the future”.
Some have accused her of disguising her ingredients using weasel words so they appeal to a wider customer base such as ‘sonic mushroom flan’. Linsi hit back saying “In many countries around the world such things are commonplace, after all I had never heard of a kumquat until I came to London. We have seen people eating certain parts of a Kangaroo in Australia, what’s wrong with exploiting our own natural resources which we would otherwise have to cull and therefore waste?”.
She already employs 2 people, including a delivery driver, and has launched on the internet. Her model for future expansion is expected to be by franchising her idea to other cities around the UK. “I have been badgered to grow the business rapidly. The recipes will have to be adapted of course, but I imagine that ‘ring of bright water au pot’ would be well received in Edinburgh.”
When asked about puddings, Linsi was ready with an answer:- “Oh yes, I expect my ‘flutterby fool’ to be really popular in the summer.