Findus Foods have decided to make lemonade with their lemons by announcing a new range of horse-meat based TV dinners including Crispy Shergar burgers, Black Bess Ratatouille, Red Rum Au Vin and perennial favourite Desert Orchid Lasagna.
"Our new products will be properly sourced French horsemeat which will be certified as 100% free of any possible contamination from BSE-infected cows, scrapie-infected sheep or swine-flu contaminated pork products" said Findus' new Chief Executive.
"Of course, many of our customers may find that our new range tastes much the same as the old range of beef, lamb and pork products that we sold until recently, but that comes from the genius of our herbs and seasonings."
"So gallop on down to your local supermarket and get our finest products once again correctly labelled with what they actually contain. Put your kids under starters orders to eat it all up and see who gets to the finish line first!"