"What we need" said a spokesman "is some kind of official European organisation to regulate the quality of meat and other products traded between the various countries of Europe."
"It might mean the setting up of a small office in some convenient European city like ... say ... Brussels, or Strasboug, and the employment of a handful of staff. After all, this would only cost a few thousand pounds a year, and would be worth it in order to make it impossible for poor quality, or falsely described, meat or any other products ever to be traded in Europe."
"Obviously this would not involve any undue costs, unneccessary bureaucracy or intereference in individual national government. And to suggest that such a simple, straightforward European organisation could ever involve thousands of staff, cost hundreds of millions of pounds a year or intrude in any way into the national sovereignity of any European oountry - yet still allow dodgy meat to be traded - is of course a ludicrous fantasy."