The UK has been put on high alert this weekend after forecasters predicted a massive deluge of press and TV news stories about snow.
One mediarologist, who couldn't be named, said: "We are going to be blanketed under a ruthless torrent of headlines and articles about the minor event of ice particles falling from the sky and landing on the ground."
Snow experts are expecting journalists to dump around seven million column inches of repetitive drivel about snow across their pages over the next few days.
And TV news stations are forecast to run extended items where viewers will be encouraged to send in pictures and anecdotes about the cold yet unremarkable precipitation.
One snow scientist said: "The blizzard of hackneyed snow stories is likely to completely cover over real news on things like Syria, the fiscal cliff and Iain Duncan Smith's creepiness.
"Journalists are likely to drop all other stories in favour of eagerly playing with the snow, making a lot of balls and throwing them into the faces of the readers."
A Daily Express reporter defended the coming slush. It said: "Twitter has turned snow stories into gold. Without even looking out of the window, we can mine the network for any old nonsense about snow that any old idiot has written and turn it into lazy, pointless double page spreads about giant snowmen, sledging accidents and crazy college girls playing in the stuff in their bikinis. I f**king love snow!"
Sadly, some doom-mongers have predicted that the soft, damp mush may continue to be printed into March.