Staff at Britain's largest abattoir in Buckinghamshire are satisfied at finally understanding the central role they had been playing in the industrialised slaughter of horses for over two years.
Brian Cashman, the abattoir's newest massacre technician said "I thought it was a bit odd at first when there was a big line of cows and then a couple of horses at the end but they told us they were just a different breed. We had no reason to doubt them."
"They stopped trying to hide it after a while though - some days it was like the bloody grand national in here, but with marginally more fatalities. I genuinely can't remember the last time I saw a cow."
"I won't say what else has been going on but I'd leave off Tesco sausages for a while if I were you."