Investigations into the horse meat found in Findus lasagnes have uncovered a Mafia involvement. The meat is thought to have come from the horses’ heads that have been left on the pillow of the frozen food company’s chief executive.
A member of the criminal gang told us, ‘we Italians are proud of our nation, our heritage and our food, but what this company have done to our national dish is nothing short of disrespectful, so we had to send a little message. Calling their lasagne Italian is as corrupt as Silvio Berlusconi ’
However a defiant Findus have said they were grateful for the free meat. In a press release from the company say ‘If you want a family meal for less than a pint of milk, then we will take the meat from anywhere. We agree that we shouldn't have claimed horsemeat was beef, but then again we have got away with calling our products ‘food’ for years.’