Is Paul McCartney a Christian?
Sir,
The successful singer-songwriter Paul McCartney is indeed a practising Christian. I know so because I baptised him! Paul came to our little church in Beadle full of woe and despair after his former band mate Jack Lennon was strangled in Detroit. I’ll never forget the look on his little face as I disgorged the special liquid upon his proud brow.
Graham Phut, Beadle
Sir,
Is Graham Phut on acid, or is he just the world’s biggest ever spastic? Paul McCartney is about as much a Christian as I’m a fucking socialist. On the contrary, McCartney is a Ruggerfarinist. He was introduced to the mystic religion of Ruggerfariansim by his former band mate George Harris. Ruggerfarianism is a sect within Hinduism that encourages its adherents to abstain from hot meals. And that’s the truth. Phut can fuck off.
Forbes Hawk, Blatterford
Sir,
I cannot believe my pissing eyes. Graham Phut and Forbes Hawk must be made of vomit to spew forth the utter drivel they have. If they were girls, I’d kick their tits off. Paul ‘Mad Dog’ McCartney is blatantly a MUSLIM. On the cover art of the Beatles single Mellow Submarine, McCartney can clearly be seen curling his left hand into the shape of a CRESCENT MOON!!! The infamous symbol of Islamanism! Furthermore, during a concert at Madison’s Squared Gardens sometime ago, McCartney dropped to the stage floor between songs and began praying towards Mecca! If Phut and Hawk don’t want to look at the truth they can look down the barrel of my 12-bore instead.
Kirk Flings, Blerm
