Due to a huge decline in numbers attending church, the General Synod today announced a radical new plan to arrest, and even reverse, the trend. Members of the church currently residing in Nigeria, Uganda and Kenya are particularly welcome as they will also help to bolster the church's view that gay marriage is an evil which much be resisted at all costs.
The new Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, instigated the move after a review of options. "Looking back England has been very good at importing people to do jobs we don't want to do ourselves" he said, "in the 1950's we imported people from the West Indies to run the buses and hospitals, more recently it has been people from Europe to pick fruit and veg."
The Government welcomed the news, and also said they had a plan to import desert fighters from the Tuareg population to join the Army in the fighting in Mali. "Those guys are awesome, they can go all week without a drink" said Eric Pickles.
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Church of England to import congregations from Africa
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rogerg
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