“This is the day”, said Kevin, a drone from Sector C, “when we remember the sacrifices made by office workers, and the dangers they face each and every day at work - from frayed computer cables to paper cuts. We remember those who have made the ultimate sacrifice - having to work through lunch - and who have no other choice but to eat their sandwiches and yoghurts ‘al desko’.
“They shall not grow old... thanks to the company’s pioneering euthanasia programme. Age shall not weary them... thanks to the voluntary redundancy scheme for older workers. At the going down of the sun - and whenever someone comes around with one of those outsized leaving cards for everyone to sign - we will remember them.”