A police operation is underway at Shepherd's Bush today following the discovery of a tunnel connecting BBC1, BBC2 and the other terrestrial channels. It is thought that up to 50 Open University lecturers have been trapped in the tunnel, some for over 40 years.
There is speculation that the tunnel was created accidentally in the 1970s when an Open University physics experiment went spectacularly right and created the tunnel from BBC2. It slowly sucked in more and more of the Open University presenters until they finally all disappeared in about 2006.
The entrance to the tunnel was discovered when a decorator noticed that the plaster he was painting was actually congealed beard.
In fact, beard hair appears to have been the main construction material within the tunnel, providing housing, pipettes, and glasses. It was also used as a web to catch the insects they lived off.
The first few survivors have been talking to reporters and proudly showing off their personal overhead projectors integrated into their cardigans. When asked the inevitable tabloid question "what did you do about sex ?". They just looked blank and said it had never occurred to them.