Tens of thousands of migrants could move to Eric Pickles' arse when temporary curbs on 29 million Romanian and Bulgarian nationals right to live and work up the Communities Secretary's bottom expire in December.
While Pickles has claimed that a predicted influx of 300,000 would 'be a tight fit' and would 'cause problems', the immigration think-tank MigrationWatch UK believes 300,000 migrants could be easily absorbed.
'Although we would normally oppose large-scale immigration to the UK,' said a spokesman,'in this case we think it's quite a good idea as it would relieve pressures on nicer parts of the UK.'
Other experts think that fears of an influx are exaggerated.
'The Communities Secretary's arse frankly sucks as a destination, even for migrants from Eastern Europe,' said one commentator. 'And, never mind Pickles' arse, they'll soon change their mind when they see George Osborne's face.'