News that sporting hero Owen Davies will continue his shallow water wrestling career has been greeted with total indifference by bathing children everywhere. Owen greeted fans at Cardiff airport yesterday after a two week tour of Australia that saw him pin a cuttlefish lay a smackdown on a shark and take on three dolphins in a ladder match all to packed beaches full of terrified onlookers. “it’s hard but I do it for the kids and the love of beating fish to death with my bare hands”.
Responding to comments that the sport caused unnecessary mental suffering...to watching children Owen commented “It’s about respect isn’t it, you can’t have marine life swanning around thinking they own the bloody place”.
Owen’s next opponent is an octopus in the big reef tank at the Anglesey sea-life centre (available on sky box office), the hell-in-a-cell cage match is already a sell out and it is hoped the spectacle of a man attempting a 7 arm arm bar on a giant polypus will finally bring the lesser known sport of ‘aquatic sea-life wrestling’ the recognition it deserves and possibly Olympic status in time for Rio 2016. When asked if the sport would be given Olympic status along with lobster curling, manatee dressage and kite surfing the IOC said ‘will it f*ck’.
Another go at a sort of sport story, this time inspired by the BBC who seem to be trying to get at least one story featuring Australia on the news every week of late. It's topical but has no real theme.