The Annual Conference for Programme Management professionals, originally scheduled for June 2013, is now to take place in March. It is understood that Conference organisers The International Association of Programme Managers (IAPM) heard that the conference venue in Brighton had had a cancellation, so a unilateral decision was made by IAPM Chairman Robert German to book that slot instead. An updated invitation for papers has therefore been issued with the new closing date of yesterday.
“Some of the speakers we’ve already booked have described the new date as ‘impossible to achieve’ but I prefer the word ‘challenge’,” said Mr German. “As a Programme Manager myself, it is in my nature to shorten timescales at the expense of doing things properly.”
Amongst the subjects for debate at the Conference are Ignoring Advice About How Long It Will Take And How Much It Will Cost, Taking Twenty Percent Off All Budgets Because It Will Save Money, How Daily Written Progress Reports Can Help When Things Are Not Going Well, Painting An Unrealistic Picture That Shows All In The Garden Is Rosy To Upper Management and How To Blame Everyone Else But Programme Management For A Late And Overspent Programme.
“I’m looking forward enormously to the Conference,” exclaimed Mr German. “It’s a great opportunity to do what we do best – sit around in meetings talking bollocks about timescales and budgets while others are actually doing the work. We’ll also have a laugh about Programme Managers being able to deliver a baby in one month by impregnating nine girls,” he added, “even though I can’t see why that shouldn’t be achievable.”
Yes, that is the voice of recent experience, glad I got it off my chest