Evil Euro officials are campaigning this week for the return of Britain’s ‘war time spirit’. German MEP Hans Kirsh said the abstract concept was given to Britain in 1940 for the sole purpose of “keeping a brave face on it”, “getting by” and for absolutely “not grumbling”.
“It belongs in a museum! Hitler only provided it so it would stop you moaning during the blitz but since then it has been grossly misused”
Rolled out in times of perceived adversity by people just old enough to know that Hiter isn’t a weird out of control internet meme started on 4chan but whose experience of hardship wavers somewhere between “we have ran out of tea” and “I’ve dropped my Kit-Kat” the term can often be heard spouted on awful regional news featurettes by confused old people, inarticulate policemen and startled attention grabbing Politians.
Speaking on a visit to London the minister went on “Back in the day if the discovery of an unexploded bomb cut off your electric and you had to go over to whatshisname next door to drink tea in awkward silence it was fair enough but now it is being used for any old guff”
In recent times the vaporous metaphor has been invoked during times of heavy snow, flooding and large overpriced sporting events but is now finding new usage during the economic downturn with even Chancellor George Osborn declaring “were all in it together…snow I mean, not economic hardship obviously”
Jim talking from under a tin foil sleeping bag at a local sports centre said it would be a shame if we had to give it back “It’s the best thing we got out of Europe, just the other day I helped an old woman up some steps after a snow covered tree fell over in some woods someplace…I would never have done that otherwise”
UKIP nonsense spouter Nigel Farage told reporters “Who won the bloody war anyway? We understand Germany are going to the courts with this so it’s a dire time for us here at the moment but we are pulling together…there is a real war time spirit.”
Hitler was unavailable for comment.
My first go at a story, let me know what you think.