Sporting the late Lady Diana’s “flock of seagulls” hairstyle, eye make-up and easy manner, Claire Balding has edged her way into the hearts of a nation through her excellent presentation of the Olympics and Paralympics. However, the now ubiquitous TV host has had to issue a statement that she is in no way Channelling the spirit of Lady Di.
An expert claims: “She can’t be the re-incarnation of Lady Diana as their lifetimes cross, but then again, we don’t know everything about re-incarnation yet”. Close friends of Ms Balding claim that she isn’t totally trying to replace Princess Diana, but she does think that people should: “Jolly well watch all the horse racing and stuff”.
The Palace has had to issue a statement denying that Prince Edward has married Ms Balding by mistake: “The Prince has no interest in [gay] women”. The statement went on to infer that the Prince “doesn’t have a beard”, so is confused by the double accusation. “I just want to eat this sandwich”, it concluded.
A spokesman for sandwiches said: “Let’s, jolly well, not forget this article is about Claire Balding and stuff”. Lady Diana was unavailable to comment.