Prince Harry has returned from Afghanistan saying his latest tour of duty was his best yet, and while he was looking forward to some R & R, he was keen to get back to the action on his Playstation.
‘Yeah I’ve killed Taliban fighters – lots of them’ admitted Prince Harry. ‘So have a lot of the boys, it’s no big deal. I just think when it comes to Battlefield 3, I have the knack … the minute those towelheads appear on the screen, I give them both barrels … bang, bang, bang … see you in Heaven, Mohamed – save a couple of virgins for me, ha, ha!’
‘And yeah, when I sang ‘You’re Beautiful’ by James Blunt, on Guitar Hero, it was so realistic it bought tears to the eyes of hardened veterans, though to be fair it turned out they were only crying because they thought Mr Blunt had actually returned to the Army.’
Prince Harry’s prowess extended to sports as he got the high score on Tiger Woods – PGA Tour after successfully bedding 49 women before crashing his car into a tree. And Harry capped of a memorable tour of duty by scoring the winning goal in 2010 FIFA World Cup, though there were suspicions of a software malfunction given that England won the final against Germany on penalties.
A modest Prince Harry said that while it was good to have some success, not everything he touched in Afghanistan turned to gold: ‘I lost count of the number of Apache helicopters I crashed – it must have been at least double figures though. Man those things are freaking hard to control in real life.’