Despite heavy snow crippling the country today, the UK secretary for work and pensions Mr Iain Duncan Smith has arrived at his desk this afternoon just in time to launch his latest initiative to cut the UK welfare budget.
In future, those who work in the public sector and who fail to turn up for work just because of a bit of snow will not be paid. Due to the huge numbers of public service employees in the UK, this is expected to save the UK over £1 Billion every "snow day", such as today.
"Well nothing gets done on these days anyway" said the minister. "Those few who make the effort to get to work find they have no one who needs their services, so why are we paying them?. Clearing the car park at the school all day instead of teaching doesn't help the pupils - teachers should do it in their own time".
He is expected to issue guidelines as to the depth of snow required to trigger a snow day, ranging from 0.5" (12mm) in the south east to over 6" (or half a whippet) in Yorkshire (tough bastards those). Once triggered, public servants can relax and not try to get to work that day as they won't be paid.
The main public services unions were expected to be outraged but were also unavailable for further comment as they were still in bed.