Chelsea’s misfiring striker is being broken up and sold for parts, according to Brian Barnes, the club’s accountant. “Having had the player valued, during our annual stocktaking, we found he was worth a mere fraction of the £50,000,000 we paid for him two years ago. He wasn't just rusty, he was ready for the scrapheap.
"We feel our best chance of recouping some of the money is to sell the player off in bits, starting with the most valuable. His bottle-blonde hair - enough to stuff a pair of scatter cushions - made £15 at auction. His right foot may make even more: one of Roman Abramovich’s business associates is looking for a door-stop”...
