After 8 years of marriage Steve Leverson faces one of the biggest dilemmas in his relationship over the future of his pubic hair.
Since joining his mates in the local five-a-side team he has come under fire from them about the state of his downstairs area. “It’s been a long time since I took a communal shower and I couldn’t help noticing that all of the younger guys had very tidy pubic areas. The problem is they’ve also noticed that my pubes are quite long and untidy with the odd grey hair and the jokes fly thick and fast.”
However, at home it is a different story.
“Me and the wife both shaved them once before we were married and she came out in hives, she was dancing around for weeks, since then she’s been totally opposed to any form of trimming. In fact I overheard her talking to her sister on the phone the other day saying she likes me the way I am and that only 'gay men' or ‘men in a mid-life crisis’ or ‘someone who was considering being unfaithful’ would contemplate getting the scissors out.”
But, back in the changing rooms the 34 year old faces comments such as ‘I’ve got some ribbon at home if you want to plait them’ and ‘anyone got a lawn mower?’
“The thing is I’d really like to get the shaving foam out and release the eagle from its nest. The guys who shave do look a lot bigger, not that I’ve looked, and let’s face it none of the stars in my secret porn stash have a single pube between them.”
Such is his dilemma that Steve has even considered giving up five-a-side and taking up bowls. “At least you can bend down and show a hairy arse crack without fear of any comment.”
Now, as a compromise and to avoid further suspicion from his wife, Steve has purchased a fool-proof short and curly pubic wig from an online supplier in the Far East and is enjoying his new found liberation.
"I've found a supplier in Taiwan who guarantees it'll stay on when I need it too in front of the missus and slip off in a jiffy at other times. The best thing is it even sheds stray pubes onto the toilet rim for extra realism. So everybody's happy!"