In a new biography to be released later this year, esteemed author Otto Von Shermann has revealed that German Chancellor, Angela Merkel was in fact quite literally chipped out of the Berlin Wall.
When the Wall began to be demolished in 1989, a large section of reinforced concrete measuring 3.6 metres high by 1.2 metres wide, was found to be the angular Angela.
“After we brushed off the dust and trimmed the reinforced iron supports Frau Merkel stepped forward and the rest is history,” said American actor and singer David Hasselhoff. “Then following a quick rendition of my hit song ‘Looking for Freedom’ she was spurred on to unify East and West Germany.”
Like the Wall the square shouldered Chancellor has since proved to be insurmountable to many other European leaders. British Prime Minister David Cameron said, “I think the only way I’ll ever cement a proper relationship with her is to get her completely plastered.”