As their attempts to control their gushing Gulf of Mexico well continue to fail, BP’s increasingly desperate management team have called in leading behaviour change specialist and leadership guru Seven Suphi to help them to resolve their problems by going to work stark naked.
Ms Suphi explained that her revolutionary approach worked on the premise that ‘the idea for most people of going to work in the nude is so daunting that confronting this fear together helps them form a closer team; one that trusts each other enough by the end of the week to get naked together on the final day which we call “Naked Friday”.’
Before the cameras started rolling, BP’s beleaguered Chief Executive, Tony Hayward, said ‘We need to get things back on track. We have seen how Seven’s radical approach has worked for companies and we wanted to see if she could help us out of this hole we find ourselves in. Hopefully after this everyone will see that we’ve nothing to hide. Well, we’ve tried everything else.’
Things had been going to plan until the final day of filming when, after a week’s nervous preparation for the big day, President Obama made an unannounced visit to BP’s headquarters demanding to see the team’s blow out preventer. After some initial embarrassment, the President was persuaded that the British tended to over interpret Dress-down Friday and he was led away muttering ‘Gee, now I have proof that these Brits are just a bunch of assholes. I have seen it with my own eyes.’
Global stock markets fluctuated wildly as Virgin broadcast the show at peak viewing time. As BP’s top managers made their first appearance in the buff, share prices plunged but there was a rapid resurgence when Mr Hayward’s saucy personal assistant, Debbie Watkins, put in an appearance with only a high desk and carefully folded arms to preserve her modesty.
After the show, Ms Suphi said she was proud of the team. ‘The team was bereft of ideas before we started work, but they were soon coming up with all sorts of suggestions.’ she enthused. ‘Quite where Debbie got the idea of probing the hole with a long stiff shaft I’ll never know.’